


Limits, Alternatives and Choices

by smythebray



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-10-31
Updated: 2012-12-26
Packaged: 2017-11-17 10:52:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 19,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/550772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smythebray/pseuds/smythebray
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt and Sebastian are the childhood bestfriends that grew up together. Now they're seniors, with Blaine Anderson in tow, the world is within their grasps, ready for the taking, but before they part their own seperate ways, a secret is told, and their lives are sent spiraling out of control.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Something New

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is only set at the Dalton and the Lima Bean in the beginning chapters.

On a rainy Saturday morning, Kurt Hummel sat in the Lima Bean across a very worried Blaine Anderson.

 

“I don’t think I’m ready for my solo tonight yet. I have this churning feeling in my stomach, I feel like I’m going to choke.” Blaine Anderson rambled, his eyebrows scrunched up in worry. He gripped the coffee cup in front of him like he was holding on for dear life. He had prepared for the talent show for two weeks. He knew the words and the song by heart, but something about knowing that the show was so near made himso nervous almost to the point of wanting to back out.

“Hey, don’t say that! You’ll be fine, I promise. You already sang solos for the Warblers before right? This should just be a walk in the park for you.” Kurt reassured him.

Blaine had a wonderful voice. In fact, Kurt was moved by every solo Blaine sang for the Warblers. He sang with his heart on his sleeve paired with a smile that could light up the world.

“But that’s different. I had you guys to back me up just in case things go wrong. Tonight… it’s just me.” Blaine buried his head in his hands. He was really down. Kurt was about to say something when a voice interrupted him.

“What are you guys talking about?” the boy called out, he was holding two steaming coffee cups and sat down next to Kurt, opening the lid of one of the coffee cups and placing it just before Kurt.

“Thanks, Seb.” Kurt mumbled.

“What’s got into him?” Sebastian continued, looking from Blaine to Kurt while taking the lid off his own coffee cup.

“He’s worried about the talent show.” Kurt whispered.

“What? The Blaine Anderson spazzing out on a little talent show? But you win competitions for us severaltimes. I think you can handle one little talent show.”

That’s Sebastian Smythe for you. Always the best at giving compliments to a friend in need… not.

Kurt stepped on Sebastian’s foot under the table. Sebastian had to bite his tongue to stop from screaming, he then looked at Kurt with a what-the-fuck-was-that-for expression plastered on his face.

Kurt in turn sipped his coffee and gave him a YOU’RE-NOT-HELPING kind of look. Sebastian merely smirked. It takes fifteen years of friendship to know each other so well.

Kurt shook his head and reached out to Blaine. “Hey, you can expect Seb and I are going to be there to cheer you on okay?”

“We are?” Sebastian interrupted. However Kurt didn’t even bother to look at him this time.

“You’ll be fine. I promise.”

Blaine gave a small smile. “Thanks Kurt… and Seb, I guess.”

Sebastian smiled. “You’re most certainly welcome, Blaine.”

“Now if you excuse me, I have some more rehearsing to do, see you tonight then.” Blaine gave another thankful smile to both Kurt and Seb.

“See you.” Kurt replied with a beaming smile as Blaine left their table.

Sebastian then turned to Kurt with that all knowing grin plastered on his face. “Okay now spill Hummel, are you crushing on our little Blainnykins?”

Kurt choked on his coffee at the nickname. “Excuse me?”

“Why are you turning red then?” Sebastian was keeping himself from laughing.

All that did was made Kurt’s cheeks turn even redder. “I am not!” Kurt protested, his cheeks were burning.

Sebastian howled with laughter. “You can tell me Kurt, This isn’t first grade wherein I tell go on telling Blaine you’re crazy about him.”

“Shut up! I know well enough not to tell you about who I am attracted to after the previous ones you found out about.” Kurt cringed at the memory of Sebastian making it a daily routine of teasing him about the guys he found attractive.

“But…I’m your best friend.” Sebastian said it so dramatically, giving Kurt the puppy dog eyes.

“Oh shut up! You’re not going to get anything with that look this time! Now are you going to teach me Math or are you going to spend the next hours teasing me with Blaine?”

Sebastian sighed in defeat. Teasing Kurt was his favorite hobby.

“Fine, okay, you have a long Math exam on Monday anyway. Okay, where do we start?”

Kurt smiled. “Right from the very beginning.”

* * *

 

Soon enough, Night fell and the Dalton auditorium was packed with people, excitement and eagerness filled the air.

Sebastian and Kurt took their seats in the second row.

“Blaine’s up first.” Kurt whispered as he browsed through his program pamphlet.

“He’ll do fine. You said so yourself.” Sebastian replied with a hint of pride for his friend.

Kurt gave a light rub on Sebastian’s shoulder, “Thanks for coming with me, Seb. Sorry we had to sacrifice our Friday movie night though.”

“Nah, it’s fine. There’s always next week. Only this time… ” A grin curled up on his lips as he continued. “Iget to choose what we watch.”

Kurt gulped. “Okay.” So much for the classic Breakfast at Tiffany’s he was looking forward to, Kurt knew Sebastian too well that he’ll probably pick porn. Not just any porn, hard porn in French.

Sebastian snickered a little as if he could see exactly what was going on in Kurt’s head. Kurt nudged him. When suddenly the lights dimmed, signaling the show was about to start.

“Ladies and gentlemen! We are so pleased for you to come and support Dalton’s annual talent show, but without further ado, we give you a familiar face, you might have seen him singing in the hallways with his fellow Warblers, but tonight he sings alone, we give you, Blaine Anderson, lead singer of the Warblers.” The host quickly exited as Blaine Anderson entered, wearing a simple white shirt and jeans.

The crowd howled and applauded. Most of the howls came from the very first rows, which were occupied by no one else but the Warblers.

Kurt even heard a “That’s my boy!”, coming from Nick before he was set down by Wes.

Blaine gave a small smile, and sat on the chair set up next to his keyboard. The whole room fell silent as he placed his hands on the black and white keys.

A moment passes.

“This song is dedicated to a friend of mine in the audience…”

Sebastian looks at Kurt, but Kurt is frozen in place.

“Kurt…” Sebastian starts.

“shhh!” Kurt hissed as Blaine continued.

“Kurt, this is for you.” Kurt takes a sharp breath as Blaine starts playing…

_I’ve been alone, surrounded by darkness_

_I’ve seen how heartless the world could be_

The melody felt familiar, it had a way in pinching at Kurt’s heartstrings, little by little, it was almost as if every key pressed was a message, longing to be heard.

_Baby you’re not alone, ‘cause you’re here with me_

_And nothing’s gonna bring me down ‘cause nothing can keep me from loving you_

“He can’t be serious…” Sebastian says in disbelief. But Kurt was too entranced in Blaine’s performance, it was as if they were the only ones in the room.

_Nothing, nothing can keep me from loving you._

His voice was smooth like every syllable was meant for Kurt as the song finishes, Blaine looks at the exact spot where Kurt found himself unable to move. Blaine smiles, he stands and takes a bow.

The audience cheers and as soon as Kurt was back to his self. He gave Blaine a standing ovation, clapping harder than anyone.

He found himself catching his breath. Blaine Anderson has completely caught him offguard.

Kurt didn’t think twice, as soon as the audience settled, he ran off, towards the backstage, oblivious to Sebastian’s calls after him.

“Kurt! Where are you going?” Sebastian called out one more time as he ran after Kurt.

But Kurt has already reached the dressing room and as soon as he saw Blaine who looked just as surprised to see Kurt himself, he wasted no time and collided with Blaine, taking him into his arms.

It was spontaneous, unplanned, and just too warm and sweet.

“You were amazing.” Kurt managed to say, his breath still catching up on Blaine’s shoulder.

“I.. don’t know what to say. Thank you, Kurt.”

Blaine only hugged Kurt even tighter.

But just in between the doorway, watching them, was Sebastian Smythe, panting and catching his breath.

He stood up straight and cleared his throat, “Sorry for uh,… ruining the moment.”

Kurt broke free from Blaine’s embrace. A trace of a blush on his cheeks.

“I think we should be going now, I promised Burt I’ll get Kurt home before nine. And seeing that the show started later than expected… Guess we’ll just see you, Blaine.” Sebastian turned to go,

“You coming, Kurt?”

Kurt opened his mouth to speak. But Blaine was the first to speak up.

“wait.”

Sebastian and Kurt looked at Blaine.

“Could you… give us a moment? It’s just going to be quick I promise.”

Kurt gazed at Sebastian, mouthing the word, “Please?”

Sebastian exhaled. “Fine. I’ll be outside.”

Sebastian didn’t quite know why he felt a sudden dislike for Blaine Anderson. But he can’t help but feel a little protective over Kurt. Was it jealousy? Not really. After all, He had more hugs with Kurt.

There were comforting ones like the time he fell while they were riding their bicycles when they were five. There were hugs that Kurt gave him whenever Kurt was happy for him because he achieved. And then there were hugs that seemed longer than they really were. Hugs that felt like home actually.

Sebastian’s train of thought was derailed when Kurt came out of the dressing room.

“What was that about?” He was quick to let the question escape from his mouth, although he tried to make it sound like he didn’t care that much if Kurt told him.

“I… Nothing. Could we just go home now?” Kurt didn’t meet his gaze. Sebastian knew in that instant that something was definitely wrong. But something stopped him from saying any more.

“Sure, I’m kind of… tired anyway.”

They exited the auditorium with no words exchanged. Sebastian’s head was racing with so many questions. They reached the entrance to Dalton, and then Sebastian turned to Kurt, “Wait here. I’ll get the car.”

Kurt nodded, still not making any eye contact. Sebastian was getting worried. What happened inside that room that made Kurt so… cold to him?

Five minutes later, Sebastian brought the car to Kurt, he opened the door for him and Kurt sat next to him as always..

“Seat belt!”

Kurt buckled in, uttering no words of complaint.

Ten minutes into the drive, Silence filled the car. Sebastian wanted to start a conversation but Kurt decided to look out the window instead.

“I’m just going to play a little music.” Sebastian muttered as he turned the radio on. Much to his surprise, a familiar song comes up.

Kurt, recognizing the tune gave him a sideways glance and when he saw the stupid little grin on Sebastian’s face, he knew what he was in for.

“Come on, Kurt. You know you want to.”

The song echoed into the night, memories itching to be remembered.

“Not now, Seb. I’m not in the mood. Turn it off.”

Sebastian pouted. Kurt was being a pain in the ass.

“No.”

Instead he turned the volume even louder and sang along at the top of his lungs.

_Uptown girl_   
_She's been living in her uptown world_   
_I bet she never had a back street guy_   
_I bet her mama never told her why_

“Oh God, please don’t!” Kurt put his hands over his ears, recoiling to the song that ruled their childhood.

Sebastian only sang even louder, his tune was very off, but he didn’t have a single care in the world.

Kurt was annoyed. Sebastian knew this, but he just kept going.

Kurt could feel his blood boiling and he felt like smacking the dumb idiot beside him. The speakers blared off the song, and yet Kurt Hummel cracked.

“AND WHEN SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE WANTS FROM HER TIIIIIIME AND WHEN SHE WAKES UP AND MAKES UP HER MIND.” Kurt gave all he had, his mixed love and hatred for the song shown in his voice.

Sebastian howled with laughter as Kurt continued to sing at the top of his lungs.

As he joined in to form their little imperfect melody, suddenly they were kids again.

* * *

 

_In Kurt’s room. It was one of their little sleepovers. Sebastian was seven and Kurt was six._

_Sebastian was showing Kurt his cool moves he learned in his dance school as Kurt was sitting on the bed giggling because Sebastian kept messing up. But Kurt saw Sebastian was getting frustrated with himself. So an idea came to mind._

_Kurt pulled the sheets off his bed attacking Sebastian catching him fully off guard._

_“TICKLE WAR!!!”_

_They rolled on the floor, fighting, pinching and tickling each other. And when it was all over they just looked at each other and laughed it off._

* * *

 

The music ended just as soon as they were in front of the Hummel residence.

Kurt was still laughing, he stopped for a moment and looked at Sebastian. They looked at each other with the goofiest grins plastered on their faces.

“I hate that song.” Kurt said as he wiped a tear from his eye.

Sebastian smiled, “Me too.”

“Well, we’re here.”

“I guess we are.”

Kurt was supposed to get off the car.

He was supposed to say goodbye and tell Sebastian he’ll call him later.

But what exactly made him stay put though.

Was he making the biggest mistake of his life, When he didn’t get out soon enough?

Leaving just like that without telling Sebastian was not like him at all, Sebastian is his best friend. They told each other everything.

“Kurt.”

Sebastian interrupted Kurt’s thoughts snapping him back to reality.

“Kurt, you should go. If I know your dad at all, he’s probably waiting up for you.”

By now, Kurt was back in his state he was in when they left Dalton.

He was unsure and scared at the same time. But he knew he made up his mind.

“I have to tell you something.”

If they weren’t alone, Sebastian would have missed the sound that came from Kurt’s lips.

If only he knew what Kurt was about to say next would cause so many things in their lives to be out of balance. He would have stopped himself from asking.

Sebastian gulped.

“Okay, what is it?” He mustered up all the courage to look like he wasn’t the least scared.

Kurt took a deep breath and exhaled through his nose.

He could do this. Sebastian would know what to do. Sebastian needed to know.

“Blaine told me he loved me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yea, i couldn't resist putting a darren and a warbler song for the first chapter lol. Kudos and reviews are always welcome.


	2. Okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda short for this part, also, Quinn and Sebastian are siblings. So as not to confuse anybody :P

The silence between them loomed like a darkness slowly foreshadowing them, It was unwelcome and yet so overwhelming all at once.

A single name crept up against them both. Longing to be said, refusing to be ignored.

Sebastian was staring in front of him, his hands grasping the steering wheel as if he was holding on for dear life. As soon as the words escaped Kurt's mouth, Kurt wanted to grab them and swallow them back in. The tension suddenly felt so heavy, Kurt couldn't take it anymore.

"Sebastian, Please say something." Kurt pounded on the boy with his tiny fist. Sebastian in turn gave a weak chuckle. This was ridiculous.

"I'm sorry, Kurt. I'm still having trouble processing this. Give me a minute. " and then Sebastian pretended to look forward dramatically.

"Seb, you are such an asshole!" Kurt made for the door, but Sebastian beat him to it.

"Kurt, no." Sebastian tried to hide the humor in his voice, but he failed to do so. "I'm just messing with you."

Kurt crossed his arms. This is not the time for Sebastian to be so fucking immature.

Sebastian cleared his throat. "So... Blaine Anderson huh."

"Oh my God, I hate you!! " This time, Kurt does storm off.

"I'll call you!" Sebastian calls after him.

"Don't fucking bother!" Kurt shouted after.

Sebastian watched as Kurt reached the door before he started the engine and drove off. As time grew longer, the smile on his lips began to fade as he came to the awful realization, What did Kurt say after Blaine told him he loved him?

He arrived in front of their house, He went inside, ran upstairs and was scrambling for his phone.

"Shit." Where the fuck was his phone?

 

"What are you doing?" A voice behind him asked.  He wanted to ignore her, but maybe she knew where it was. He turned around to see his sister in a t shirt that was too big for her and sweatpants. She crossed her arms and looked at him expectantly.

"Quinn! Have you seen my phone?"

The blonde rolled her eyes as she went pas him and pulled something out of his bedside drawer.

She threw the gadget just in time for him to catch it. "It's been ringing all night."

Sebastian looked through his phone and saw six new messages. He scrolled on nervously, mildly surprised to see five were from Blaine Anderson. He didn't want to think about Blaine right now. It's not so much that he was mad at Blaine, but more of the fact that Blaine never once mentioned his attraction or love, for that matter, for Kurt. Sebastian thought they'd e close enough friends to not let that slip out.

The sixth message however, was from Kurt. Sebastian didn't even hesitate to open it first.

_I'm going to sleep, I'll talk to you tomorrow. xo_

But Sebastian's stubbornness got the best of him. He still dialed Kurt's number

There were two rings before Kurt picked up. "Didn't you get my message?" Kurt's voice was a little throaty, which gave the affirmation that Kurt was asleep before Sebastian called.

"I just needed to know one thing."  
"Mmmm."  
"What did you say to Blaine when he told you..."  
There was a stunned silence.  
"I told him I didn't know what I felt."  
"Oh." Sebastian didn't know why his heart was racing, or why he could suddenly breathe again.  
"Seb, as much as I want to talk, I'm just really tired from tonight. Could we just talk about it tomorrow?"  
"Oh yeah, sure Lima Bean at nine?"  
"Where else. Good night Seb."  
"Good night, Kurt."

Sebastian waited for Kurt to hang up and when the light on his phone screen signaled that he did so, He finally collapsed in his bed. A smile of satisfaction crept up on his face.

"Are you done making googly eyes because of Kurt yet? I'm going to throw up." Quinn peeked inside while she was brushing her teeth, laughing a little at her brother's stunned expression.

Sebastian threw a pillow in her direction, missing her by only a few inches. "Why do we have to share a room together!" Sebastian yelled in annoyance.

Quinn laughed and went back to brushing her teeth.

Sebastian exhaled and closed his eyes.

He was seeing Kurt tomorrow.  
Everything was fine.  
Everything was going to be okay.


	3. Coffee Mornings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the italicized stuff in the middle is a flashback. Also a little more smythebray friendship in here.

It was only 7am when Sebastian was ready to leave for the Lima Bean. He was already dressed in a simple white Lacoste shirt and a pair of dark jeans. He couldn’t sleep last night and while Quinn was sleeping like a baby, even snoring as she slept, Sebastian’s eyes were wide open. He tried to sleep several times, but sleep simply didn’t come.

He kept tossing and turning, this image of Kurt holding Blaine’s hand walking through the hallways in slow motion kept shocking him awake. He wanted to scream in frustration but he didn’t risk waking Quinn up. She’ll fire insults at him as soon as she woke up anyway.

Sebastian rubbed his eyes with his palms up. He liked doing this whenever something big bothered him. It was like, even if it was just for a few seconds, he felt like he could shut the whole world off entirely and think clearly. It would be only him and his thoughts, nothing more.

Sebastian figured showing up at the Lima Bean too early would make him look like he got stood up. So he decided to wait until 8:30, it was only a 30-minute drive to the Lima Bean, which would make him just in time for their usual Saturday breakfast. A smile curled up on Sebastian’s lips as he reminisced the first time he and Kurt have set foot in the Lima Bean.

* * *

 

_They both knew they wanted coffee before going to Sebastian’s house to hang around for the weekend, but they couldn’t decide on which café they’d go into. Sebastian wanted Starbucks because it was always comfortable there, but Kurt argued Sebastian only like going there for the chairs and the music to which Sebastian protested with weak counterarguments. Kurt, on the other hand, suggested a little place near his house, that he claimed had the best coffee. But Sebastian cut him off telling im he was being biased because he probably was exposed to that kind of coffee ever since. He rambled on about Kurt losing his “coffee virginity” to that coffee, and so they bickered and argued until they came to a compromise._

_The next coffee shop they’ll pass would be where they’ll take their coffee for the day. Sure enough, they arrived at a little café. Of course, the moment before they entered, the almost backed out with Kurt saying, “What if the coffee tastes horrible?” and Sebastian coming to an even morbid realization, “What if we get stuck with crazy hobos in there?”_

_They looked at each other with the most genuine terrified expressions on their face, of course the moment they saw each other’s faces, they merely laughed at each other._

_“Come on, Seb. It can’t be that bad.” Kurt puts a reassuring touch on Sebastian’s shoulders and pushed him towards the coffee shop. Kurt could feel Sebastian’s shoulders relax just a little bit as they entered the shop. As soon as the bells attached to the door gave tiny rings, signalling their arrival, it hit them._

_Both of their jaws fell open as the aroma hits them, welcoming and engaging. The scent was heavenly. It smelled of chocolate mixed with coffee, even a hint of cookie dough._

_Kurt looked at Sebastian as he mouthed, “Is this real?” His blue eyes sparkled with delight and wonder. In all of Sebastian’s efforts to hide his own amusement, he can’t help but feel a little intrigued himself._

_Only a few people were found sitting on the tables, they were either engrossed in a book or laughing quietly to the other person’s little chatter._

_Kurt and Sebastian chose a table near a window. As both of them took their seats, It was like everything was fitting perfectly. As much as Sebastian tried to deny this, Kurt could see right through him._

_“You’re starting to like this place and we haven’t even had our coffee yet.” Kurt teased._

_“No, I’m not. ” Sebastian tried not to meet Kurt’s eye as he said so. He usually was a better liar, but with Kurt, not so much._

_A waitress arrived smiling a little too brightly for Sebastian’s taste._

_“Hello, what could I get you?”_

_“I’ll have a Café Mocha and Kurt will have…” Sebastian turned to Kurt as he was deeply concentrating on the little menu._

_“A Café Latte, Please.” Kurt smiled as he returned the menu to the waitress._

_“And who do I make this out to?” Her smile was annoying every bit of Sebastian._

_“Meerkat and Princess.” Sebastian grinned, they were their nicknames ever since._

_“Okay, sorry but is this your first time?”_

_“Uhm, Yes?”_

_The girl beamed. “The Lima Bean has this tradition to give free bagels to our first timers, think of it as a welcome gift from us to you.”_

_“Wow, how nice of you.” Kurt pinched Sebastian’s thigh under the table as the waitress clearly heard the tone of sarcasm in his voice._

_“I’ll get back to you.” The waitress’ smile disappeared as quickly as it came._

_Kurt glared at Sebastian._

_“What? She’s clearly pretending to be nice to us so she could get a big tip.” Sebastian rolled his eyes and stared after the waitress._

_“You’re such a douche sometimes, Seb. How could you always expect the worst in people?”_

_“Because Kurt! It’s better to have lower expectations than feel cheated when they don’t meet them.”_

_Kurt rolled his eyes as they sat in silence for a while. The bagels were the first to arrive._

_“Blueberry. I hope you like them.” The waitress smiled at Kurt but gave Sebastian a deathly glare as she walked away._

_“She hates me. I guess that pretty much ruined this place for us.”_

_But Kurt didn’t respond, his eyes lit up as he took one bite of the bagels._

_“These bagels are delicious, No, we’re staying!”_

_Sebastian laughed as Kurt forgot his manners and ate more of the heavenly bagels.  
_

* * *

 

“What are you smiling about?” Quinn’s groggy voice interrupted Sebastian’s thoughts.

She lazily walked in the kitchen rubbing her eye with one hand and the other hand, grabbing a blue cup from the cupboard. She yawned as she put in her usual mix of coffee ingredients. As she poured hot water and stirred, she can’t help but notice that a certain amount of time has gone by without her brother’s snarky comment.

She took a sip of coffee and finally faced Sebastian who was still sitting on the couch, staring dumbly at her. She almost choked on her coffee as the full image finally hit her.

“Well now, looks like someone’s a bit overdressed for breakfast.” She tried to hide her little smile bhind the coffee cup, but she knew she already saw through her as he made to stand up.

“I don’t have time for this.” Sebastian muttered, as he grabbed his keys, walking out the living room. Quinn was right behind him, “Aren’t you going to tell me about it, Seb?” She called after him. He reached the door but didn’t bother slamming it. He did not want to have this conversation.

“Seb, Wait!”

Sebastian just reached his car and let out an irritated sigh. “WHAT?”

Quinn bit back a mischievous grin as she shouted from the front door. “Don’t forget to say ‘Hi’ to Kurt from me!”

Sebastian let out a groan as he went in the car and drove off their driveway. From the corner of his eye, he could see Quinn still waving at him, with a goofy grin on her face.

Little sisters were a pain in the ass.

* * *

 

Sebastian arrived five minutes before nine. As he opened the doors, the sound of the tiny bells rang, and he immediately took a whiff of the ever familiar scent. Just exactly how he remembered it four years ago.

He went straight to the barista and ordered his and Kurt’s usual. While he was waiting, he checked his phone. There was one text message waiting for him. It was from Kurt.

**Princess (8:45AM)**

_Running a little late. Sorry!_

Sebastian texted back right away.

_Okay, Take your time._

He pressed send.

“Anything else sir?”

Sebastian looked up.

“Um..” He stared at the two cups in front of him. “On second thought, could you add a plate of bagels with them?” He took his wallet out and fished out a couple of bills. “Blueberry, please.” He gave his signature smile and the barista nodded.

“We’ll just serve them to your table sir.”

“Thanks.”

Sebastian took both of the cups and headed to their usual table. Funny how it was always unoccupied, almost as if the world knew it was just for them.

He sat down and looked through his phone again. There were no new messages from Kurt. Sebastian’s finger was lingering on the ‘Back’ button then his eyes suddenly wandered to his other unread messages, the ones from Blaine Anderson in particular.

Sebastian didn’t want to ruin his good mood for today, but he couldn’t avoid reading the messages either. After all, Blaine Anderson was still his friend. He contemplated for a little bit and upon realizing that his anger from last night subsided, he decided to finally open the damn messages.

He started on the earliest one. The stated time was just before Blaine’s performance.

**Blaine Anderson (8:15PM)**

_I have to come clean about something, Sebastian. Could you meet me backstage?_

**Blaine Anderson (8:17PM)**

_Please, Sebastian. I need you to hear me out._

**Blaine Anderson (8:20PM)**

_I’m in love with your best friend._

Sebastian stopped scrolling. It was one thing to hear it from Kurt, but it was another thing to know it came from Blaine Anderson himself. Why exactly did Blaine want to meet him right before his sappy tribute to Kurt? Could it have been that Blaine wanted to ask permission from him?

Sebastian suddenly felt a pang of guilt. He was so ready to hate on Blaine when the latter wanted to talk to him right before he told Kurt.

Sebastian bit his lip and scrolled through the remaining text messages.

**Blaine Anderson (10:10PM)**

_I told him, Seb._

**Blaine Anderson (10:11PM)**

_Please call me once you get this._

How could have Sebastian been so stupid? Of course Blaine wanted to tell him. If only he didn’t forget his damn phone last night, things would have been clearer. Without hesitation, Sebastian texted back.

_I’m sorry I just read your messages. I’ll call you later. – Seb_

The familiar ring of the bells attached to the double doors made Sebastian’s head snap up. He was like a kid caught with his hand inside the cookie jar.

Kurt gave a tiny wave as he approached Sebastian. He was still a little dazed.

His eyes were as blue as the sky today, Sebastian couldn’t quite put it, but something about Kurt was different.

He shook the thought away and greeted him. “Good morning.”

“This is a first, no matter how late I am, you’ve never beaten me here.” Sebastian shrugged, “Guess today’s just different.”

As Kurt settled in the chair opposite to Sebastian, The blonde barista arrived with a fresh plate of bagels.

Kurt’s eyes lit up.

“Do you remember…” Kurt started.

Sebastian nodded. “Our first time.”

He can’t help the grin that spread across his face as he watched Kurt mercilessly gobble up the pastries. Kurt looked like a child opening presents on Christmas morning.

“So, what took you so long?” Sebastian said as he casually took a sip of his drink.

Kurt suddenly slowed down munching his bagels. He swallowed and then he finally said, “Blaine called me this morning.”

Sebastian set his coffee down. “And?” His voice sounded so high pitched, it made him want to slap himself.

He noticed how Kurt’s gaze wandered and a faint blush revealed itself on his cheeks.

Kurt bit his lip, he already told himself he was going to tell Sebastian everything, why back out now?

“and he asked me to meet him today, but I said I was already meeting you…”

Sebastian wanted to hide his satisfaction, but he can’t help a little grin placing itself on his lips with the thought of Kurt still choosing him over Blaine.

“So I told him to meet me tomorrow instead.”

The enthusiasm in Kurt’s voice was more than audible. Sebastian could only catch snippets of the conversation.

“Karaoke bar… dinner… maybe a few drinks after…”

Wait a minute, Kurt was leaving out one important detail.

“Wait, Wait, Wait.” Sebastian interrupted Kurt’s musings. “You mean, it’s just the two of you.”

“Yes.”

Kurt didn’t know why it was so important for Sebastian to know about it.

“so, is this like a … date? Are you officially dating Blaine Anderson?” Sebastian didn’t expect it to sound so teasingly but it caused Kurt’s cheeks to turn bright red.

Kurt looked away. “No, we’re only going as friends…”

“Does Blaine know you’re only going as friends?”

“I.. um.”

“Kurt, provided what Blaine told you the other night, he clearly wants to be more than friends.”

Sebastian felt hot, like he was nervous in regards to what Kurt was going to say next.

But he shook it off and tried to act indifferent.

“Well?” He was determined to know. Get it over with. “Are you and Anderson going out?”

Sebastian’s grip on the coffee cup tightened. He was preparing himself for the blow. Yet, it didn’t happen. Instead he felt Kurt’s hand on his free hand and then he could suddenly feel his tense muscles relaxing. Kurt’s touch always had that effect on him.

Sebastian exhaled through his nose as Kurt gave him a warm smile. He hated how Kurt knew his every movement, when he was angry or sad or even the most subtle of emotions, Kurt knew.

 

“Seb, I really don’t know what I’m doing.” Kurt gave a laugh. The musical kind that Sebastian could swear what angels sounded like.

“I guess Blaine and I… are still figuring things out.”

Sebastian didn’t meet Kurt’s gaze when he withdrew his hand. Finally, he sighed and looked at his best friend.

“I just don’t want you to get hurt.” He muttered.

Kurt laughed again. “Why does the idea of love… ” Sebastian cringed at the four letter word, but tried ever so hard not to let it show. “… have to mean instantly getting hurt?”

“I’ve seen a whole lot more people complaining and crying over someone who broke it off with them, thatn people musing about the ‘magical feeling’ love gave them” He mockingly made air quotation marks with his fingers. To which Kurt only laughed at.

“But that’s love, Seb. It’s always a risk. It’s giving yourself to someone and trusting them not to hurt you.” Kurt mused with a dreamy expression on his face.

“That’s really stupid, Kurt.” Sebastian’s disgust wasn’t even hidden from Kurt this time, but he gave a playful chuckle.

“You were always the hopeless romantic. I remember when we were ten and you planned our entire wedding.”

Kurt beamed as he recalled that memory. “I can’t believe you still remember that.”

“Of course I do. You made me try on all these itchy clothes and you even made promise rings taken from the top of tin cans for both of us.” Sebastian’s grin slowly disappeared. “Of course, that was when you thought you were marrying me.”

It was meant to sound playful but Kurt detected the hint of bitterness in Sebastian’s tone. “Oh.. Seb.” Kurt stood up from his seat and sat right next to his best friend.

Sebastian had his arms crossed, a defense mechanism , signalling anyone near him that he didn’t want to be touched.

Kurt still placed a soft hand on his shoulder. “Sebastian look at me.”

Sebastian sighed as he reluctantly did.

He always took Kurt to look like an angel, but he never told Kurt that. Kurt already knew too much about him for his own good. He hated the fact that Kurt knew just where to touch him, or even just the right thing to say.

“Just because I’m dating Blaine doesn’t mean you’re going to lose me. You’ll always be my idiot.”

“Words are easier said than done, Kurt.” Kurt didn’t know how much he meant to him. And it pains Sebastian to know just how much the boy meant to him. It pains Sebastian to know just how scared he is to lose his best friend.

Kurt looked down and raised his pinky.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Hey! Don’t make fun of this. Tell me one pinky promise that we made that was broken?”

Sebastian opened his mouth but closed it. There wasn’t one.

“Are we really going to do this? I mean it was cute when we were kids…”

“Seb!”

“Fine fine okay.”

Sebastian raised his pinky just as high as Kurt’s and then they both closed them together.

“I, Kurt Hummel, promise not letting a boyfriend or whatever Blaine Anderson is come between me and my best friend.”

Sebastian looked at Kurt one more time before saying, “Pinky promise.”

They were still a few seconds before they mutually let go of each other’s fingers.

“I just hope it works out for the best, whatever it is you and Blaine have, are you like boyfriends now?”

Kurt slapped Sebastian’s head. “I told you, we’re just dating.”

“Okay, fine. I hope it works out, okay? ‘cause I’d really hate to beat Anderson up if he ever hurts you.”

Kurt smiled showing his little teeth. He kissed Sebastian on the cheek quickly before the moment was gone.

“My hero.”

Sebastian grinned. “Now finish your coffee before it gets too cold.”


	4. Good night, Kurt Hummel

*

They both head back to the Smythe's house, Sebastian was too thankful his sister wasn't around. She probably was on one of her dates with Rachel. Sebastian's makes a mental note to tease her once she comes home.

Once inside, they change into something more comfortable. Kurt sported a black top with New York City in capital letters enscribed on it and a pair of sweat pants. Sebastian descended downstairs wearing a clean white shirt and also a pair of sweat pants. 

As Sebastian was preoccupied with his phone, Kurt takes in this image of his best friend. He had to admit though, Sebastian did come a long way from what he looked like when they were kids. He was taller, that's for sure, his limbs were longer, he had more muscle, and something about him was almost boyishly attractive. But there's no way Kurt would ever tell Sebastian that. That compliment is going straight to his head, plus he'll never let Kurt forget about it.

Sebastian's phone suddenly rang and based on the look on his face, it wasn't someone he was particularly looking forward talking to.

"I need to get this. Could you just choose the movie?" 

Kurt nodded. His eyes trailing Sebastian as he went to the other room to take the call. Kurt didn't have it in him to ask twice, Breakfast at Tiffany's sounded a thousand times better than the French porn Sebastian would have chosen.

Kurt prepared the chip n dip and put the movie in. He pressed 'pause' when it started and lounged comfortably on the sofa. He can't help but overhear snippets of the conversation in the other room. From the sound of it, Sebastian was all worked up at something. Kurt subtlely leaned a little closer to the side of the sofa that happened to be nearer to the other room. His curiosity clearly was getting the best of him.

Sebastian's voice was stern and angry? Kurt couldn't be sure. 

"It's his life, he could date anyone he wants. But I'm warning you..." Kurt sat up straight. Was Sebastian having boy trouble? 

Throughout their whole life, Kurt was positive that Sebastian never had a boyfriend before. Or at least a boyfriend that was worth being worked up about. Sure, Sebastian had his share of flings that he'd take home overnight and Kurt knew all about them, even if he doesn't approve of them, but Kurt was more than positive that Sebastian never had someone that he fell head over heels for, or was worth fighting someone for, or even took home more than once. 

Sebastian made it too clear that he was not a big fan of love.

Which is why Kurt found himself on his toes to hear more about Sebastian's conversation with his mysterious caller.

"No, I'm not angry..." Kurt heard Sebastian sigh, his voice came out relatively calmer now. "Just take care of him, okay?"

Kurt could swear that he could feel his heart swell. Whoever this person was, Kurt could tell that he obviously meant so much to Sebastian that Sebastian just wanted to make sure that he was... taken care off. Kurt had to admit, he did kind of feel a little jealous of this person. He never saw this side of Sebastian before. Protective and caring. 

Of course, Kurt had his share of Sebastian being protective over him. Especially when he was bullied in his elementary days. But for Sebastian to show that he cared, that was really out of the ordinary.

He happened to feel a little proud of his best friend.

He sat up straight as Sebastian emerged from the other room, looking unfazed.

It was only after Sebastian sat on the couch and pressed play, did Kurt worked up the courage to ask him. "So... who was that?" Kurt, trying to sound casual.

Sebastian sighed. He was only half paying attention to the movie, his mind was too cluttered with so many thoughts after the call.

He merely shrugged. "Just an old friend." He took some chips from the bowl on the table and shoved them in his mouth. Which pretty much signaled that he didn't want to talk about it. And Kurt just let go of it. At least, for now.

****

It was a bright sunny day for Kurt's first date with Blaine. Date. Kurt didn't know what to feel about the word. He has heard it a million times when he vaguely listened to Rachel about her tons of dates with Quinn. But the word date coming out of his own mouth, tasted so foreign and bizarre. he remembered that there was a time in his life that he thought he'd never go on a date with someone. Much alone get asked out on a date. Even less predicted that it would be Blaine Anderson to ask him out.

As Kurt rambled on about what he would wear on the phone to Rachel, who was all too eager to hurl suggestions at him every second, there was this lingering feeling of fuzziness that he felt right when he woke up and can't help but be in a particular good mood all throughout the day.

"I'm sure you'll be fine, Kurt." Rachel reassured him. "I think this date would be so exciting and sweet and it's going to be perfect!" 

If Kurt wasn't the one on the date with Blaine, Rachel could've easily fooled him, what with her excitement and squealing over the phone when Kurt told her he was about to go to a date with Blaine tonight.

"I don't know, Rachel. I'm feeling kind of nervous. This is the first date." Kurt was holding up two outfits in front of the mirror. His head was tilted slightly t the right to accommodate the phone.

"But you've known Blaine for a few years now. I'm sure there wouldn't be any tension between the two of you tonight." 

Kurt smiled as he finally picked the perfect outfit. "I hope so. I'll tell you all about it when it's over. Wish me luck."

Rachel giggled. "Good luck. I hope everything goes smoothly. Muah!"

"Goodbye, Rachel."

He hang up the phone. He got his keys and left a note to his father not to wait up for him. He closed all the lights of their house and locked up. A whole afternoon at the spa is sure to calm his nerves down before his first date.

****

Soon enough Kurt found himself sitting on a small table laughing so hard at the group of old men on the stage taking on "YMCA" while Blaine whispered something in his ear that made him laugh even harder. Kurt had to cover his mouth because his laugh actually caused some people to stare. He shyly hid his face on Blaine's shoulder. This date was going better than expected.

Blaine had shown on his doorstep with a bouquet of flowers. Kurt told him they were lovely, but Blaine shouldn't have. Although Blaine insisted. He told Kurt he wanted their first date to be memorable. "The first of many" he even added. Kurt had blushed and thanked him again. He always had dreamt of being given flowers, yet it always felt so far fetched and distant. But here was Blaine Anderson slowly making each of his dreams come true. One by one. 

Blaine had walked Kurt to his car, opening the door for him, like a real gentleman. And reassuring Burt, who followed them to the car, for the nth time, that he would have Kurt back by eleven.

Kurt waited for the awkward silence that came with the first date, but to his surprise, it never came.

Kurt realized that perhaps it was one of the perks of dating a friend. You already knew a lot about them for anything to even be close to awkward. 

They talked about a variety of things. From their favorite movies to the latest fashion trends, some of which they both disapproved off, and even stuff about themselves they never wanted to share with anyone else.

"You kissed a girl before?"

Kurt nodded. "It was one of my weaker moments. Yet, the whole time we were making out, I was wondering what boys' lips tasted like."

Blaine gave a little laugh and squeezed Kurt's arm. "Well, at least you know you're on the right track now."

Kurt smiled and took a sip of his drink. "Thankfully."

They were interrupted by the crowd cheering as the old men took their bows. Blaine quickly stood up. "Come on, we're next."

He held out a hand for Kurt and Kurt more than willingly took it. They made their way to the stage. Blaine handed him the microphone as the song started, and the crowd gave a generous applause to encourage them. 

Kurt was a little nervous and self conscious at first. Sure, he sang so many times with the Warblers and even at Dalton events but never in front of total strangers.

Blaine noticed this and tried to ease him in.  
 _  
Here we go again, I kinda wanna be more than friends_

_So take it easy on me, I’m afraid you’re never satisfied_

Kurt flushes a little and takes the chance.

_Here we go again, we’re sick like animals we play pretend._

_You’re just a cannibal and I’m afraid I won’t get out alive_

They’re voices finally join together.  
 __

_No I won’t sleep tonight._

_Oh. Oh. I want some more._

_Oh. Oh. What are you waiting for? Take a bite of my heart tonight_

_Oh. Oh I want some more._

_Oh. Oh. What are you waiting for? Say goodbye to my heart tonight_

Kurt felt the nervousness slowly fading away. He was feeling more courageous when he sang first this time.

_Here we go again, I feel the chemicals kicking in_

_It’s getting heavy and I want to run and hide_

_I want to run and hide_

Blaine grips him tightly as he playfully dances around encouraging him to do the same.

And at that, Kurt forgot that he was nervous in the first place.

_Oh, Oh. I want some more._

_Oh Oh. What are you waiting for? Take a bite of my heart tonight._

_Oh. Oh I want some more._

_Oh. Oh what are you waiting for? Say goodbye to my heart tonight._

Blaine was animated as they danced to every word. Kurt was losing himself to the song. And perhaps, he was losing himself to Blaine.

Blaine, who had the warmest brown eyes and a heart of gold that he was ready to give.

Blaine Anderson, who told him he loved him.

And Kurt wasn’t resisting.

The song ended and the crowd cheered.

“That was amazing.” Kurt mused.

“You’re amazing.” Blaine told him. He offered his hand and Kurt took it, as they walked down the stage. When they were away from the crowd, Kurt hugged him. He wanted to get lost in the moment. But better yet, he wanted to get lost in Blaine Anderson.

Kurt felt butterflies fluttering in his tummy. This warm fuzzy feeling he has been feeling all day, he somehow knew Blaine had caused it, and he wanted it to stay there.

Soon enough, the night had to end.

Blaine drove Kurt back to his house. They stopped in front of Kurt’s house. Blaine walked Kurt to his door.

“I had a blast tonight.”

Blaine smiled. “I’m glad you enjoyed it.”’

Both of them didn’t plan on it, but the moment just presented itself. Like all unexpected things, it just came.

Blaine leaned in to place a soft kiss on Kurt’s lips. It was sweet and featherlight. Kurt looked down so Blaine won’t see the light blush forming on his cheeks. “I uhm… see you tomorrow.”

“Good night, Kurt Hummel.”

Blaine watched as Kurt went inside. As soon as Kurt stepped inside, he was smiling all too widely. His cheeks flushing bright red. All because he was kissed good night.

He got his phone out to call Rachel immediately, but stopped at the sight of two messages flashing on screen.

He opened it, surprisingly they were from Sebastian.

**Meerkat (10:58PM)**

Are you home yet?

**Meerkat(10:59PM)**

I’m just checking if Blaine hadn’t date raped you or anything.

Kurt replied.

_Yes, I’m home._

Another message appeared.

**Meerkat(11:01PM)**

How’d it go?

Kurt bit his lip to stop from squealing. He texted back.

_It was wonderful._


	5. Fevers

Kurt's phone lights up with someone calling. He picks up without looking and instantly squeals, "Rachel! I have so much to tell you!" 

There was a sudden silence that followed. "Rachel?"

"Kurt. It's me." 

Kurt's mouth forms an 'o' at the recognition of the familiar voice. He calms down. 

"Seb, Why are you calling? What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. I just called to check on you. Did you made it home okay? Did Blaine try any funny business?"

Sebastian sounded tired. Has he been waiting up?

"Yes, Yes. I'm fine, Seb. No. He didn't try any funny business." Kurt frowns. 

"Sebastian, are you okay? You sound a little tired. Are you  _sick_?"

"What? no." Sebastian's throaty voice betrayed him, affirming Kurt's suspicions. 

"Seb, you  _are_  sick."

"I'm  _not_. Now, are you going to tell me how your date with Anderson went? What, did you go to second base?" 

Kurt could tell Sebastian was only teasing, but he couldn't hold it in anymore. He needed to tell somebody, even if it  _was_  Sebastian.

"We kissed." As Kurt said it, the butterflies have fluttered in his stomach again as if they were recalling the moment.

"You what?" Sebastian's voice was a little fainter now. 

"We kissed, Seb! and it was wonderful." Kurt wanted to tell him every detail of the kiss. The way Blaine's lips felt on his, the way it was swift and sweet yet it had the effect of staying with him. 

"I need to go." Sebastian finally said, interrupting Kurt's thoughts. "I'll see you at school tomorrow, I guess."

"Okay. Good night, Seb." 

Sebastian hang up. Kurt was a little worried for him, but that night he dreamed of Blaine and everything that happened. His mind, replaying the kiss over and over again.

* * *

 

The day after, Kurt looked all around Dalton for Sebastian. He wanted to tell him everything. But as he went to every one of Sebastian's classes, and asked around for him, he realized Sebastian didn't show up for school.

Kurt was worried. It must've been something serious to get Sebastian Smythe out of school. He got his phone out to dial Quinn's number, but a tap on his shoulder made him stop abruptly. He turned around to see Blaine giving him the biggest puppy like smile, his hazel eyes shining with delight in seeing him.

Kurt felt the blood rushing to his cheeks again. All it takes is for Blaine to look at him that way to make him feel so... _special_.

"Hey, I had a wonderful time last night."

"So did I." Kurt smiled. His phone suddenly felt five times heavier in his hand, begging for his attention. For some reason, he can't focus on his conversation with Blaine when his mind was screaming 'Sebastian is sick'. 

"So... are we still on after school? My place?"  _Shoot._ Kurt remembered making plans with Blaine to meet today at their dinner last night. He completely forgot about it when he was thinking of Sebastian. 

"Blaine... I'm so sorry, I have to cancel our plans this afternoon." Kurt saw Blaine's smile falter a little. It was just enough to make Kurt's heart sink. 

"I'm really sorry, Blaine. It's just... Sebastian needs me. I'm going to make it up for you. I promise." 

Blaine tries to smile. "No, it's okay. I completely understand. We could always reschedule anyway."

It was when Blaine was so compassionate and so understanding that made Kurt feel like he doesn't deserve him. 

"I'm really lucky to have you." 

Blaine beams and his puppy dog smile is back. 

"Come on, I'll walk you to class." He places a strong hand behind Kurt, making him feel protected and at the same time, so small. 

When they reach Kurt's English class, they say their goodbyes. As Kurt walks to his seat, catching a glance of Wes grinning at him too widely, He ignores him and takes his seat. He dials Quinn's number almost immediately.

"Hello? Quinn! It's Kurt. I'm good. I'm good. Hey how's Seb... yea I thought so. Yes, I'm just calling to let you know I'll be coming over." Kurt gives a laugh. "No, don't tell him. okay okay, see you!" Kurt hides his phone just as the teacher comes in. 

* * *

 

“Quinn. Quinn! I’m hungry!” Sebastian whines. His stuffy nose has slurred his speech. He was bedridden. Everything was aching all over. Any attempt in getting up makes him dizzy.

“Quinn! If you don’t bring me food right now, I’m going to die!”

Sebastian had a tendency to be overdramatic when he was sick. It annoyed every single person that tried to help him. Apart from his constant whining, he had alternating mood swings. First, he’ll be very angry with one simple mistake you did. Next, he’ll be clingy and sad and beg you not to leave him.

Which is precisely why, everyone tends to stay out of his way when he was sick. Well, all except for one.

Quinn enters the room with a bag slung on her shoulder. She walks over to Sebastian’s bedside table and looks over the items until she finds what she’s looking for. Her eyes sparkle as she grabs the keys and heads out when Sebastian calls after her.

“Quinn! Come baaaaaack. Where are you going?” He coughs. “You haven’t fed me yet. Give me back my keys!”

Quinn pops her head back in her brother’s bedroom and rolls her eyes. “Don’t be such a drama queen. I’m staying over at Rachel’s tonight. Besides, someone’s here to look after you when I’m gone.” She stares lovingly at her brother, in his oh so vulnerable and childish state.

“Quinn!”  Sebastian reaches his hand out like a zombie clinging to his victim. Quinn giggles. She was too far away from his bed for him to reach her.

“Don’t have sex with Berry ‘til you’re eighteen!” Sebastian points in her direction, giving a pathetic warning before he slumps back to bed.

“Seb, you’re such a baby.”Quinn says, but she smiles and kisses her brother’s forehead.

“Don’t worry. I won’t. Behave okay?”

“Did you actually get a nanny to take care of me?” Sebastian mumbles his face against the pillow.

“Nope, just Kurt.” Quinn tries not to laugh as she practically runs out the room before Sebastian catches on.

Sebastian’s eyes snap open, as if refusing to believe what his sister just said.

“What?” he yells.

But by the time he was scrambling in his bed to look for her, she was gone.

He wants to get up but his body was like dead weight. He gave up and lied back down.

He felt sleepy all of a sudden; his eyelids were drooping when he tried to stay awake. It was most likely a side effect to the medicine.

But right before he slips into unconsciousness, he felt something soft resting on his forehead and caught a whiff of chicken soup.

* * *

 

Sebastian is woken up by Kurt. It was time for dinner. Sebastian pouts and rolls to face the other side of the bed.

“Don’t you have stuff to do with Blaine?”

Kurt sighs. “I did, but I cancelled on him. Apparently someone stayed up too long last night waiting up for me.”

Sebastian sniffs, but still doesn’t face Kurt.

“You can’t besure about that.”

 “Well, is it true?”

Sebastian coughs loudly. You’d think that dynamite was exploding inside is throat. The cough was incessant; he was beginning to have trouble breathing. He sat up.

Kurt hands him a glass of water while rubbing his back. Sebastian drinks the whole thing and gives the glass back to Kurt.

“Maybe.” Sebastian retreats back under his covers. Kurt tucks him in as Sebastian snuggles cosily in the warmth of the blankets. Kurt sits down at the edge of the bed and runs his fingers through Sebastian’s hair.

“What did I tell you about worrying too much about me?”

Sebastian doesn’t look at Kurt. He closes his eyes, the thing that Kurt was doing with his hair; Kurt’s fingers slightly grazing his scalp, made him sleepy again.

“To _not_ worry about you.”

“Exactly.”

Sebastian opens his eyes to see Kurt looking at him with a sad expression. He sighs.

“I’m sorry Quinn put you up to this.”

Kurt stops stroking his hair. “Quinn didn’t put me up to anything, I told her I’d take care of you.”

“But your thing with Blaine…”

“Could wait. ” Kurt resumes stroking Sebastian’s hair. “I told him and he says he _understands._ Don’t worry. Just relax and rest.”

“Why are you always the one taking care of me?”

Kurt chuckles. “Because you’re always the one that needs to be taken care of.”

Sebastian laughs but it’s interrupted by a series of coughs. Sebastian sits up coughing even louder and more aggressively. Kurt pats his back again until it stops. Kurt stands up. “I’ll be right back.”

Sebastian nods and gets some tissue sitting on his bedside table and blows his nose.

Kurt comes back five minutes later with a tray containing a bowl of soup and a glass of water.

Sebastian’s stomach growls as if on cue.

“Sorry.” He mutters, embarrassed by the timing. “Quinn forgot to feed me earlier and I kinda dozed off.”

Kurt sets the tray down and picks up the bowl and a spoon.

“Say ‘Ah’ ”

Sebastian rolls his eyes but does as he’s told. He swallows with a pained expression. “HOT! HOT! Blow!” Kurt sighs and blows to each succeeding spoonful of soup until Sebastian finishes the whole thing. He gives Sebastian the glass of water, once he’s done.

Meanwhile, Kurt heads to the bathroom. He comes back wearing a comfortable looking shirt and pants. He seems to have finished moisturizing as well.

He rummages in his bag and gives two pills to Sebastian along with another glass of water. Sebastian takes them and settles in bed.

Kurt sits on the edge of the bed again, stroking Sebastian’s hair until the latter was just about ready to doze off. Kurt stands but stops when he feels Sebastian’s warm touch clinging on his wrist. He turns around to see Sebastian looking at him intently. “Thank you, Kurt.”

Kurt shushed him. He brushes his hand over Sebastian’s forehead before turning off the light and settling on the comfortable chair near the window. Slowly, the both fall asleep.

* * *

 

Kurt wakes up to a whimpering noise. He rubs his eyes free of sleep and sits up straight. He stands and checks up on Sebastian. The whimpers were coming from him. Kurt was alarmed, he places a hand on Sebastian only to gasp when he discovered that Sebastian was _shaking._

Kurt jumps on Sebastian’s bed, trying to calm him down.

“Sebastian.” Kurt grabs hold of Sebastian’s shoulders, but that only caused him to shake even more violently. By the small ray of moonlight, escaping through the window, Kurt saw Sebastian was _crying._

“Seb, it’s only a dream.” Sebastian’s body rolled, he kept kicking and clutching at the covers.

“Kurt… don’t… please…”  

Kurt was getting more and more scared by the moment. What even terrified him more was Sebastian was having a nightmare that somehow involved him.

“Seb, wake up. I’m here, I’m fine.” Finally, Kurt grabs Sebastian’s waist in all effort to keep him from shaking.

“Please… Don’t leave him.”

Kurt tightens his grip. “Shhh. I won’t.” Kurt whispers just behind Sebastian’s ear. Then suddenly, as if Sebastian hears him, the shaking stops.

They stay still for a while until Kurt’s sure it was over. He deliberates whether he’ll let go or not. Then, he later decides that he shouldn’t.   _Just to be sure._ He kisses the back of Sebastian’s neck before he sleeps, his head leaning on his best friend’s back. He holds him tightly, as if he was holding on to dear life.

Little did he know, much later that night, Sebastian wakes up to see Kurt holding him. He doesn’t move. Instead, he smiles to himself.

Perhaps, this could be a fever that he could learn to live with.

 


	6. Wake up

 

The light drops of rain trickling on the rooftop wakes Sebastian for a second time. The clock sitting on his bedside table revealed it was six am. He moves to his other side to see Kurt, he was making a little pout, his head was just on top of his right hand.

Sebastian takes an unsure hand to trail over the outline of Kurt's face. He studies the little rises and falls Kurt's chest makes. Sebastian sighs and withdraws his hand.

Kurt looked so tiny. He seemed so fragile, like he could _break_  any minute.

He lies back to face the ceiling.  _What is he doing_? He shouldn't be this comfortable with waking up next to anybody. This is exactly the reason why he doesn't have anything more than a one night stand. The thought of waking up to the same person everyday just  _terrifies_  him.

Oh, but this was Kurt.  _Princess._ The one person who knows him more than he knows himself. Kurt, who knows how to break every single one of his rules.

It starts pouring harder. Unconsciously, Kurt shifts his body towards Sebastian. He puts his arm on Sebastian's chest, squeezing him tighter as he moves in closer.

Kurt yawns and slowly opens his eyes to see Sebastian opening his mouth about to say something. He quickly releases his arm and blushes.

"Ohgodohgod, Seb I'm so sorry! I'm just used to hugging my pillow when I sleep I-" He rambles on, trying not to look at Sebastian. "Sorry sorry sorry!"

Kurt is scrambling on the bed, he sits up still trying not to meet Sebastian's eyes. Instead, Sebastian laughs, "Kurt, it's okay. You act like you just raped me or something."

Kurt bit his lip and ignores Sebastian's comment. "How... how long?"

Sebastian sits up as well. A smirk forming on his lips. "Not long. You woke up right after..." He stretches his arms and yawns.

"Although I  _was_  wondering how you ended up in my bed last night." 

A look of defensiveness crosses Kurt's face. "Well,  _somebody_  was having nightmares." 

Sebastian's smile disappears. "You... how did you know I was having nightmares? Did you hear anything?"

Kurt bit the inside of his cheek. Telling Sebastian he knew that he had nightmares that somehow involved him was just plain cruel.

"No. You were... shaking. It was really scary to tell you the truth. "

The smile returns on Sebastian's face. 

"Awww. Who knew you cared so much for me?" He takes Kurt in his arms and ruffles his hair, Kurt groaning in protest.

He breaks free from Sebastian. "You're an idiot." He says with an irritated tone, before he slams his pillow on Sebastian's surprised face.

He catches Sebastian's dumb expression before he gives another blow. Kurt gives an evil laugh before he bolts for the door, not giving Sebastian the opportunity to return fire. 

"No, you don't!" Sebastian shouts. He grabs the nearest pillow and runs after Kurt.

Kurt screams as Sebastian reaches him, pinning him down and hitting him once. Kurt knows he's in for it when Sebastian starts tickling him, he curses when Sebastian just  _knows_  where he's most ticklish.

Kurt kicks his feet, pleads in between giggles. "Seb!!! Stop... please!" But Sebastian was enjoying it too much. Kurt squeals. "I give up!! Just stop! please!!!"

With that, Sebastian stops and laughs so hard he falls next to Kurt. "You should've seen your face. Priceless." 

"You're such an asshole!" Without any warning, Sebastian lies on top of Kurt making him squeal and whine even louder under his weight. 

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING? Get off me!!" Kurt whines. 

"Say the magic word!"

"I CAN'T BREATHE! AIR!" Kurt's arms and legs move in every direction, but his efforts proved to be useless against Sebastian.

"Seb! We still have to get ready for school! we're going to be late!"

Finally, Sebastian gets off him. He stands and offers Kurt a hand. Kurt, in turn, swats it away, he makes an effort to stand but stumbles halfway. Sebastian, catching him just in time. Kurt weakly punches Sebastian in the arm.

"What was that for?"

"For being a doubhebag."

Sebastian chuckles at the sight of Kurt's irritated expression.

"You're impossible!" Kurt pushes Sebastian again before walking off in a huff, leaving Sebastian shaking his head, a wide grin still plastered on his face as he picks up the pillow and takes Kurt's advice to get ready for school.

* * *

 

Blaine is waiting for Kurt to arrive at Dalton. He checks his watch.

_7:05am._

_  
_He's already late for first period.

_Where could Kurt be?_

_  
_His phone rings and he takes it out to see a new message from Kurt.

Kurt ♥ ( 7:06am)

  
_Blaine! I'm sorry, we're running late, don't wait for me anymore. x_

_  
_Blaine's eyebrows scrunch up. _We?_

 _  
_He responds.

_Okay. See you later then. :)_

He heads to his first period English class, with nothing but Kurt in his mind. He  _wants_  to pay attention to the teacher's discussion, but his mind keeps wandering to who Kurt's with when Kurt texted him.

The class ends. He gathers all his stuff and heads towards his next class. He moves with the crowd, struggling a little because it was too easy for other people to push him because he was so small. 

He was just about to go inside when something catches his eye. He turns to the right to see Kurt, but with someone else. He can't make out who it was since the other person slightly turned away from him.

Blaine's smile disappears. Kurt was fixing the other guy's blazer. He looks a little angry,  the other guy just nods, as Kurt looked like he was lecturing him about something. Then, Kurt smiles and pats the other guy on the chest. They walk together in Blaine's direction. 

Kurt spots Blaine and waves. Blaine tentatively waves back but his eyes are still fixed on the other guy, intrigued who this mystery man was and why he was important enough to make Kurt late. Perhaps, he was even a little jealous. 

Mystery guy finally turns his head, a smirk on his lips and a slight nod to greet Blaine. 

Relief fills his body as he gets close enough to see that mystery guy was only Sebastian. 

He approaches them and quickly takes Kurt's hand. Kurt raises an eyebrow at the sudden display of affection. But gives Blaine a warm smile. Sebastian crosses his arms and mutters something about seeing Kurt after school before he walks away, giving Blaine a passive nod.

Kurt and Blaine walk hand in hand to their next class. 

"I missed you." Blaine shyly admits.

"Already?" Kurt swings their hands playfully. He meets Blaine's eyes with an even brighter smile. 

Blaine remains silent for a while then he stops swinging their hands together.

"Can I... ask you a question?'

"Sure'

Blaine isn't meeting Kurt's gaze now. He's staring at the ground, willing himself not to go through with the question. But he continues.

"Did you spend the night at Sebastian's house?"

Kurt is caught offguard. The question was simple enough, but why did it sound accusing? Kurt feels his mouth go dry, but he answers anyway.

 "Yes." 

It was at that point that Blaine lets go of Kurt's hand. The relief that filled his body upon knowing that Kurt was only with Sebastian, changed into a sudden tight feeling in his chest. 

"Blaine, is something wrong?"

Blaine presses his lips into a thin line, thinking about all the ways to tell Kurt how he felt.

"I don't know how to say this Kurt..." He finally meets Kurt's gaze. Pain, surfacing on his deep hazel eyes. "...but I don't feel comfortable with you spending the night at someone else's place."

"It's just Sebastian, Blaine." Kurt didn't mean for his tone to sound so taken aback.

Kurt didn't... couldn't understand why it was such a big deal.

Blaine continues, "I  _know_... it's just."

He sighs and hangs his head. "I just..  I want you all to myself."

A blush surfaces on Kurt's cheeks. So  _that_  was what this was all about.

Kurt takes Blaine's hand and squeezes it, trying to reassure him. "But I  _am_  yours."

"No, you don't understand." He doesn't let go of Kurt's hand, instead, he grips it even tighter. 

He wanted to say it romantically or wait for when the time was right. He looks directly at Kurt with a glow in his honey hazel eyes,

"I want you to be my boyfriend."

 

 


	7. Voices

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is this mini flash forward in the beginning, but everything that happened right after the last chapter will be explained gradually.

Kurt enters the class wearing an unreadable expression on his face.

He takes his seat next to Sebastian, silently wishing it _wasn't_ the one class that they shared together.

"You look like you've seen a ghost." Sebastian states, his grin wavers when Kurt ignores him. "Something wrong?"

Kurt tries to busy himself by taking out pieces of paper along with a pen from his bag. He catches Sebastian still looking at him at the corner of his eye. Kurt exhales and mumbles, "I _really_ don't want to talk about it."

Sebastian opens his mouth to say something but he closes it when their teacher comes in the room. 

Ms. Lucy, a brunnette, petite and in her early 30s, though somehow looks so fresh and young that she could pass for late twenties. Half the class has a crush on her, but you can't blame her since the other half is gay.

"Okay class, today we will be dealing with character portrayal." She announces, for someone so small, she had a voice that could instantly fill the room. "I want you to take out a pen and paper and use it in the best way you can. You could use either of the two types of character portrayal we've discussed last week."

The other students have already started scribling down. Scratches of pen against paper are heard as they each work on their own. 

"Describe someone that fascinates you. Or someone that you look up to. Or even better, create someone in your head and make me believe that that person is real." She smiles as she sits down by the chair on the teacher's table. "This paper is due by the end of the period."

Kurt props an elbow on his desk and cradles his head with his left hand. He starts writing but stops and peers at Sebastian.

"Who are you writing about?" Kurt asks, mildly interested.

"Just the greatest person in the world..."

Kurt raises an eyebrow.

"Me." Sebastian says proudly. It makes Kurt smile a little. "You're such a conceited jerk."

"Well, who are _you_ writing about?" Sebastian leans in to peek at Kurt's paper but Kurt snatches it away just before Sebastian could even make out the first lines.

"Not fair." Sebastian leans back in his seat and crosses his arms, mocking 

Kurt sighs and says in a low voice, "It's about my mom."

Understanding fills Sebastian's face. He nods and  focuses on his own work. Kurt sees him crumple his paper and starts anew, but he doesn't bother asking. 

Soon enough the whole period ends and Kurt has a long enough essay describing everything he loved about Elizabeth Hummel. From her deep blue eyes that he thought he was lucky enough to inherit to her soft melodious voice he vaguely remembered when she sang him to sleep with the sweetest of lullabies. He slips the paper on the teacher's table and heads straight out of the classroom.

Sebastian follows right after. He hands Ms. Lucy his paper. She raises her eyebrows as she skims the first few lines of his work. Once she looks up to say something, the boy was already gone.

He goes on to look for Kurt, shuffling between the mass of Dalton boys blocking his way. He turns a corner but then he's caught offguard by a pair of hands grabbing him from behind. He turns around, ready to defend himself but as soon as he does, he relaxes.

"Fuck, Kurt! I thought you were someone else." 

Kurt doesn't appear to have heard him. He looks behind Sebastian, scanning the hallway, his hands still clutching the other's shoulder.

"Did someone follow you?"

"No." Sebastian adjusts his bag. He was slightly uncomfortable with Kurt's hands on him.

"What's going on, Kurt? And why do you look so tense?"

Kurt  _still_ hasn't let go of his grip on Sebastian's shoulder. He stares right at Sebastian.

"I need to tell you something, but promise me you won't react the way I think you will?"

Sebastian slowly takes Kurt's hands away from his shoulders.

"What now? Is Anderson forcing you to have sex?" 

Kurt just stares at him for one second and bursts into laughter, diffusing the tension between them.

"What's so funny?"

"God Seb! Why does it _always_ have to be about sex?"

Sebastian crosses his arms. "Then, what's it about?"

Kurt stops laughing and his smile dissolves as quickly as it came.

"Don't get angry okay?"

Sebastian's muscles tenses, but he nods.

Kurt exhales.  _Please, please, please don't get angry._

"Blaine asked me to be his boyfriend."

Of all the words in Sebastian's vocabulary, he can't figure out why the first word that comes to his mind was... _No_. It wasn't his decision, it's Kurt's. But why did the word  _refuse_ to leave him alone?

As Kurt went on about how he told Blaine that he had to think about it, that it was too soon to tell, but kept on hinting that he might say yes within the week. The word continued to make itself heard throughout Sebastian's mind. Almost like a broken tape stuck on the same line.  _No. No. No! No ! NO! NO!!!_

It took every bit of Sebastian to not say it out loud. He bit his tongue as Kurt continued musing about Blaine. 

_Blaine, Blaine, Blaine. Why did everything had to be about Blaine?_

Kurt was in the middle of talking about Blaine's cute collection of bowties when Sebastian finally cracks.

"You can't!" Sebastian says louder than he intended to. 

Kurt stops abruptly. "What?"

Sebastian rubs the crease that has formed between his eyebrows. 

"You can't _be_ Blaine's boyfriend. You just... no." Sebastian was hardly put in a place where he struggled for the right words. But here he is, stuttering and clamoring for the words to come to him. He sucks in a deep breath. "I don't like Blaine Anderson.. You're too good for him."

His frustration simmers when he knows he's blurting out the wrong things, but he _can't_ stop. He tries not to look at Kurt's shocked expression. The words tumble out of his mouth, like they had a life of their own. "You're... not ready. I think you should wait."

They stand there in awkward silence until Kurt finally finds his voice to speak.

"Seb, are you hearing yourself?"

Sebastian doesn't reply. He intends to keep his mouth shut in order for no more stupid words to slip out.

"I'm too good for Blaine? I'm not ready? Seb, where is this _coming_ from?"

"I-" Sebastian starts but Kurt interrupts him.

"Blaine has been our friend since freshman year. You know him almost as much as I do. How could you suddenly say that you don't like him?"

Sebastian silently wishes the words that do come out are right this time.

"There are other guys." Yet, they fail him once again.

"Other guys?" Kurt's astonished tone was even higher now. "Like who?" He said it like everything Sebastian was saying was something out of Alice in Wonderland.

"You know what? Forget I said anything." Sebastian starts stomping off. His blood was boling,  every vein in his body was throbbing and threatened to explode. 

Kurt can't hear the voices in his head. Kurt can't understand how they're slowly killing him. Kurt won't care to know that the screaming no's from when he told Sebastian the news, have developed into desperate whimpers. 

The whimpers that went on Sebastian's head throughout their conversation.

The whimpers that persistently begged, 

_Please Don't._

 

 


	8. Angelic

When faced with a problem, it is in our nature as human beings to tell ourselves that things  _will_ get better, that everything is going to be okay in due time. But as we continue to repeat these words to ourselves right before we sleep, sometimes even as we say these words, we do have the tendency to sound like we're trying too hard to convince even ourselves. That in the back of our minds, we're really just delaying the horrible things that are bound to happen.

* * *

They stop talking. To whose fault it was, it remains unclear. But the moment Sebastian walked away that day, things haven't exactly been the same. Perhaps, they have even started to fall apart. Atleast, they were for _Sebastian._

* * *

_It was almost like a mutual decision._

_  
_Sebastian stopped making late night phone calls to Kurt but Kurt didn't go on calling him first either. They both stop going to the Lima Bean and settled for other coffee shops. They don't make eye contact when they pass each other in the halls.

Sebastian doesn't want to see Kurt and Blaine being couple-y and holding hands anyway. It made him want to puke. He wasn't sure if Kurt said yes to Blaine yet , but something inside him told him not to go looking for the answer either. So he tried his best to avoid Kurt at all costs. Kurt doesn't really seem to notice at all. He decides it was probably for the best.

Of course, the Friday night movie tradition along with other traditions quickly came to a halt. Sebastian watches movies alone. He decides it's better this way.   _Who wants to watch boring classic movies anyway?_ He thinks to himself as he shoves popcorn in his mouth. 

But as another French movie ends, Sebastian shuts off the television and lies down on the couch. 

Maybe it was just the fact that the air condition was set too high or maybe he was coming down with a fever again, but the moment that Sebastian lies down, he suddenly feels _cold_. The couch feels too big all of a sudden and there is a hollow feeling that settles in his chest as if to point out that something was _missing_.

Sebastian shuts his eyes before he could even _begin_ to think about it.

* * *

 _Time is a rather odd thing._ More often than not, it never plays to our advantage. The happy days go by too fast. These are the days that we want to relive over and over again. The days of pure bliss and joy. The days that we _long_ for. Yet the worse days are prone to stretch out longer than we want them to be.  These are the days that end up torturing us. The days that we simply wished was over from the moment they began.

For Sebastian Smythe, _today_ was one of those days.

It was exactly one week after they stopped speaking. Sebastian was fixing his things to prepare for creative writing class. He doesn't look up when Kurt settles on the seat next to him. He doesn't say a word even though he could feel Kurt's icy stare on him. He continues shuffling pieces of paper around, forcing himself to hold his breath and wait for the god damn period to end. He can't look at Kurt. He simply can't. He decides to remain quiet throughout the period and take notes.

He flinches when he felt a light touch on his shoulder. He looks up to see Ms. Lucy with a piece of paper on her hand.

"Sebastian, I'm very impressed by your work last time and I'd love for you to present this work in front of the class. I think it would be a good example to demonstrate the proper use of character portrayal to your classmates." She sounded so genuinely proud of Sebastian. 

Normally, Sebastian would have jumped at the opportunity to boast his work in front of everybody, but he was reminded of the subject of his paper and he declined. However, Ms. Lucy wasn't willing to take no for an answer. She kept insisting that he do it, some heads have turned in their direction, curious stares from their classmates were on Sebastian. Then, he finally gave in.

He tried to compose himself as Ms. Lucy led him to stand in front of the class.  While she announced to the class that Sebastian would be presenting his work, Sebastian felt hot all of a sudden, like one of his organs was collapsing without any warning and he was going to die.

He cleared his throat and tried to smile, but it disappeared just as quickly as it came. He did a quick scan of the room and saw that he had everyone's full undivided attention. All except for one. Kurt had his arms crossed and was staring down at his desk, looking like he absolutely did not care for Sebastian's essay at all.

Sebastian's grip on his paper tightened, crumpling it a little bit before he started reading aloud. He made his voice sound calm, not a trace of irritation as he read,

"Angelic." He pauses to clear his throat and adjust his standing position to make him a little more comfortable. "It's the only word fitting to describe him. The way... he laughs melodiously, or the way he sings. His voice captures the sole essence of what I think angels would sound like."

He takes a deep breath, trying to be as calm as possible when he reads the next few lines. "His touch has a way of making even the worse things seem better. It has the capacity to heal the most painful of wounds. His words are promises I hold on to. His..." Sebastian makes an abrupt stop,silently contemplating if he should go any further. He looks at Ms. Lucy giving him a reassuring smile. Right before he continues, he swore he saw Kurt looking up. 

"Looking into his eyes was like immersing myself in the deepest ocean. Yet I am a fool to be too willing to let myself drown in them. There is this ray of light that surrounds him wherever he goes. Often I wonder if other people see it too, yet I silently hope that he only shines for me. He is my angel. The only one that could save me from myself." He swallows hard and looks at Kurt across the room. "My angel, my healer, my saving grace."

As Sebastian finishes, he is greeted with warm applause. He gives the most humble smile and takes his seat.

Kurt asks him without looking at him, his voice only a whisper.

"Who... who was that about?"

Sebastian shrugs and lies, "Just made him up."

Kurt nods. They don't talk for the rest of the period.

* * *

The bell rings. Sebastian stands up and heads straight to the door just before anyone else. He almost reaches the door, a rush of freedom from the heavy tension fills him. That is, until someone grabs his wrist. He stops and turns around. His jaw clenches when he sees Kurt. He takes his wrist from Kurt's grip and crosses his arms.

"What do you want?" He didn't intend to make the words sound so unwelcoming, but it was too late to take them back.

Kurt stares up at him, eyebrows knitted together, as if he was unsure what to say.

"Kurt. I have another class to go to, so-" Sebastian makes to leave when Kurt's words make him stop in his tracks.

"Seb, I know." 

He doesn't move. His body feels stiff like he suddenly turned into a statue, open for everyone to laugh at.

"Know What." He croaks. _Pathetic._ He tells himself yet he tries to maintain his posture.

"I know who you wrote about."

Sebastian's breath catches in his throat. "You do?"

He tries to look indifferent, crossing his arms. "I made him up, Kurt."

"No, I-" Kurt bites his lip. He adjusts his blazer and looks around him before continuing. "I... overheard your phone call last week."

Sebastian felt like his heart was going to leap out of his chest. _Shit. Shit. Shit._ "What did... what about my phone call?"

Kurt appears more confident, like he just hit the bulls eye.

"Seb, I know we haven't exactly been talking since-" He trails off, not meeting Sebastian's eyes.

"Go on." 

Kurt gazes at him with hope in his eyes. It was enough to make Sebastian want to drop to his knees and beg Kurt to forgive him. 

Then, Kurt speaks. 

"I think I've known you long enough to know that you care about this person. You're just afraid to admit that you love him."

"It's more complicated than that Kurt." Sebastian could feel himself loosening up a little, but he still doesn't want to budge just yet.

"You have to take the risk, Seb. If he's worth it, you have to take the chance before it's too late."

Kurt squeezes Sebastian's arm and the ever so comforting feeling of his touch is back. 

Maybe he should have taken Kurt's advice and just told him. He couldn't will himself to say _love_ outright. But maybe he would have told him that he'd rather sit though boring classic movies as long as he watches them with Kurt than watching them alone. Or that doing anything just wasn't the same without Kurt. He would have told Kurt that he liked how he took care of him even when he was a pain in the ass when he was sick. He would have told him that he missed Kurt and he was stupid.

But then Kurt smiles and says, " Take the risk like I did with Blaine."

Sebastian recoils from Kurt at the sound of the name and realization hitting him all at once. Everything suddenly makes sense. 

The hand holding, the lack of phone calls, the googly eyes. Kurt said yes. They were official. Blaine and Kurt are... _boyfriends._

 _"_ I gotta go _."_ Sebastian walks away. The room is spinning and the ground is shaking. He has nothing to hold on to.

What is this pain?

This pain that's consuming him, slowly devouring away every bit of sanity left in his body. It's not supposed to be this painful. What Sebastian was feeling right this moment, it was _excruciating_.

* * *

 _He's so stupid_. He tells himself as he reaches his house ignoring Quinn as he slumps on his bed and burries his head in the pillow.

Quinn peaks in their room, slightly troubled by the way her brother was acting.

"Seb."

She's not so sure why she's even bothering, he clearly cannot be disturbed.

"Go away."

She rolls her eyes and shouts back.

"Someone's at the door for you."

"Tell them that I'm dead." He mumbles.

"You don't look like you're dead to me." A voice decidedly not Quinn's comes from the doorway. 

Sebastian raises his head a little, even though he already knows whom the voice belongs to.

He tries not to glare, his tone coming out dark and vicious. "What do you want, Blaine?"

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i won't be updating at tumblr anymore so just look for updates here or sebklaine.net :)


	9. Limits

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's a flashback in the middle, i hope i made it clear though. *cross fingers*

Blaine smiled but it’s strained.

“What. No hello Blaine, or even a how are you?”  He invites himself in Sebastian’s room, slowly taking in the pictures placed on Sebastian’s study desk. One in particular catches his attention.

Blaine carefully takes it in his hands to examine it more closely.

The picture was of a younger Sebastian and Kurt. Sebastian was in a soccer uniform while Kurt was wearing a red shirt and jeans. He was probably there to support Sebastian. Sebastian had his arm around Kurt’s shoulders, smiling brightly. He looked more proud holding Kurt than the trophy he had in his other hand.

“When was this taken?” Blaine asked.

“The summer of junior high school. Right before we entered Dalton.” Sebastian replies.

“Right before you met me.”

Sebastian laughs, it comes out as somewhat sarcastic. “Yeah, when our lives were better.”

Blaine presses his lips into a thin line.

“I don’t understand, Seb. I thought we talked about this. I thought everything was fine between you and me.”

Sebastian glares at Blaine with a dark expression in his eyes.

“So did I.”

* * *

It was the beginning of freshman year. Both Sebastian and Kurt felt nervous into entering high school, but they knew that their nerves would calm down as long as they had each other.

“Sit with me in class, okay? I really hate getting stuck with someone creepy on my first day.” Kurt mumbled as they tried to make their way among the Dalton boys to find their rooms.

“Sure, but we’ll only have _one_ class together, you’d have to brave the other five on your own. Cross your fingers not to get seated to someone who smells.” Sebastian chuckled at Kurt’s fearful expression.

“Come on, Kurt. You know I’ve always got your back.”

Kurt sighed. “This is me.” He muttered, stopping in front of room 418.

Sebastian patted his shoulder. “See you at second period. ”

-

By the time second period starts, Sebastian was already seated when he spots Kurt by the doorway. He waves Kurt over. Kurt approaches him smiling widely for some reason but he stops and turns around. It looks like someone has called his attention. Sebastian sees a dark haired boy holding a piece of paper with both his hands, talking to Kurt. Kurt was nodding and laughing, and then both of them went in.

Kurt gave Sebastian a tiny wave, a smile plastered on Kurt’s face as the dark haired boy followed after. The boy frowned when Kurt sat next to Sebastian, so he settled for the seat right in front of Kurt.

As soon as he had his things fixed on his desk, he turned around and held out a hand for Sebastian. The latter raised his eyebrow before taking it and giving it a firm shake.

“My name’s Blaine Anderson. I see you and Kurt have met.” Blaine’s eyes were full of warmth. He looked like a child finding a new playmate. Both Kurt and Sebastian looked at each other and laughed.

“Yea, we met alright.” Sebastian started laughing a little more loudly. Kurt had to push him by the shoulder before his laughter dwindled into less audible ones. Blaine glanced from one to the other, confusion etched across his face.

They finally stop laughing. Kurt was the one to speak first. “Blaine, This is Sebastian Smythe. We’ve known each other for as long as I can remember.”  

Sebastian merely smirked, “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Blaine.”

The comfort Blaine saw Sebastian and Kurt had with each other was so heartwarming and _natural._ It had the tendency to play with his curiosity.

He shuffles in his seat and finally asks, trying not to sound too intrigued, “So… are you two.. _together?_ ”

Sebastian was the one to answer this time.

“Yes, we are. Kurt is my everything. He’s everything I dreamed of having. I proposed last week and he said yes. We’re moving to France next month.”

Kurt punched his arm while giggling. “You idiot.”

He looked up and felt a little sorry for the look on Blaine’s face. “No, this jerk’s just my best friend.” Blaine saw Sebastian looked down, a grin still plastered on his face, but said nothing.

Blaine gave the most sincere smile.  His voice was still cheerful. “It was nice meeting the both of you.”

He glanced at Kurt again and his smile grew wider. “I’m glad I ran into you, I would’ve been like a lost puppy on my first day if you never showed me the way to class.”

“Oh it was no problem, really.” Kurt could feel his cheeks burning and tried his best to hide it from Sebastian but it was too late.

Sebastian had already made a number of plans to tease Kurt on his newest crush on Blaine Anderson.

-

It was too easy to fit in with Kurt and Sebastian. Although they knew each other longer, the three of them had so many similar interests, there was hardly a time for awkward silences.

Between Warbler rehearsals and coffee mornings at the Lima Bean, somehow there formed an unspoken rule. Sebastian and Blaine were _always_ fighting for Kurt’s time and attention. Kurt was like the delicious piece of cake and Blaine and Sebastian were always famished. But to Blaine’s dismay, Sebastian being Kurt’s best friend seemed to always had to have the bigger share of Kurt.

The unspoken rule was Sebastian and Kurt will _always_ spend more time together. They know more about the other and perhaps at times, it made Blaine feel a little left out.

From the very beginning, Blaine had known he had developed a fondness for Kurt, but there was a voice in his head that kept him from telling Kurt. Like somehow, he was _expecting_ Sebastian was bound to step in sometime and ask Kurt out on a real date.

Blaine waited for Sebastian to make that move for three years before he finally decided that _he_ wanted to have the bigger piece of Kurt for once. He was fed up of Kurt being just a little out of his reach _._

He wanted to _finally_ cross the _limits_ that held him from Kurt Hummel.And as anticipated, when he finally gathered the courage to tell Kurt how he felt, everything between the three of them was suddenly put out of balance.

* * *

Sebastian snatched the photo away from Blaine and set it aside.

“Are you really here to be all sentimental because I don’t have time for this.” Sebastian spat, his words like swords piercing through Blaine’s body.

“Fine, I’ll get right to the point then.” Blaine crossed his arms, trying to look a little braver.

“I… don’t want Kurt spending the night at your place anymore.”

Sebastian’s blood simmered but Blaine continued.

“I don’t have anything _against_ you, Sebastian. But as Kurt’s boyfriend-”

Sebastian’s nostrils flared at the word, it took every amount of self control in his body not to attack Blaine right then and there.

“I don’t feel comfortable with him spending the night at your place… or anyone’s place for that matter.”

“It’s always about you, isn’t it? Does Kurt even have a say in this?”

“Yes, he does.” Blaine cut him off, his honey warm eyes have suddenly become dark.

Here are two people fighting for someone that means so much to them.

The first was _clinging on_ , even though he knows Kurt was already slipping from his fingers. The second was consumed with greed. He gave Sebastian three years to make his move, but now it was _his_ turn. Now that Kurt was his, there was no plan to let him escape his grasp anymore.

“You know Sebastian, you’ve got a lot of nerve to make _me_ the villain here. When I, for one, _know_ you’re the one who’s been avoiding Kurt all this time.”

The sentence caught Sebastian off guard. “I wasn’t…”

“Don’t even try to deny it Sebastian. All I said to Kurt was he couldn’t sleep over here and he was fine with that. But I didn’t say you couldn’t see each other anymore. I didn’t tell you to just disappear from his life entirely.”

 Blaine heard his tone rising. He paused and exhaled. Sebastian didn’t utter a single word.

Maybe, it was due to the fact that everything Blaine just said had some truth in It after all.    

“I know we haven’t been getting along for a while now.” The warmth slowly crept back in Blaine’s eyes. His tone sounded the most genuine and filled with good intentions. “But I know, that you and I just want the best for Kurt.”

All this time, Sebastian tried to convince himself that Blaine Anderson was not good for Kurt, that Blaine had different motives to go in a relationship with Kurt. But now that Blaine had went to his house to tell him off, actually taking time to tell him that he _means_ well. It gave way to the fear Sebastian has been hiding all along, perhaps even from himself.

What if Blaine _was_ good for Kurt?

“It may not be the same anymore for you and me. But it shouldn’t be the same way for the two of you. Just… I don’t know. Call him. It would really mean a lot.” His words were final. Blaine glanced at Sebastian one more time before he left, leaving Sebastian a ton of things left unspoken.

* * *

That night Sebastian’s fingers pressed the numbers he knew by heart and held his breath as the phone rang, half wishing Kurt wouldn’t pick up, half wishing he would.

“Hello?”

Sebastian gulped wanting to just go ahead and tell Kurt everything, but was so scared to say something stupid.

“Kurt, it’s me.” He says finally. A billion thoughts screamed to be uttered but before they got the best of him, Sebastian took a deep breath and said, “I missed you.”

There was a silence in the other line and Sebastian wondered if Kurt was contemplating hanging up on him.

But then, his heart threatened to burst from his chest when Kurt speaks, “I missed you too.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry the updates are beginning to slow, since i haven't found a beta yet :s


	10. Of Fragile Promises and Hopeful Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so this took like forever because of my exams, but I warned you that updates are going to slow since I'm back at college. welp, here you go. Reviews would be lovely. :*

As to how long _exactly_ were they on the phone, neither of them knew.

 

Minutes? Hours? Was it really important when you were talking to the person you’ve been missing for so long?

 

“I’ve been stupid.” Sebastian starts.

 

“You don’t have to explain.” Kurt replies. “I know that things might have been overwhelming for you these past few weeks.”

 

“Kurt. Just hear me out.”

 

“I’m listening,”

 

Sebastian takes a deep breath before continuing.

“I’m… okay with whatever you have with Blaine. You know how I am with you, right? I could really be overprotective sometimes. But…”

 

Sebastian looks up at the ceiling.

 

There are simply some things that seem _impossible_ to say.

 

“I guess I’m just so used to you always being there for me, that when you went in a relationship with Blaine, I thought…”

 

He wanted to hang up the phone, take some courage and tell Kurt this personally, calling him felt like the cowardly way out.

 

“I thought I was losing you.”

 

“Seb, I made you a pinky promise at the Lima Bean remember? ”

 

“I know. I know. And I’m the one that ended up breaking it.”

 

“Don’t be so hard on yourself.  I’m still here, Seb. Everything’s going to be fine.”

 

“You’re _really_ just letting this go?”

 

“I am. You know, we’re seniors now, and we only have few months left before it’s all over.”

 

“I know.”

 

 Sebastian says it trying not to sound so sad, yet the fear was there buried deep inside of him, waiting to be acknowledged.

 

 He tries to steer the conversation.

 

“I’m thinking of applying for Harvard.” He tries to sound confident, although failing a little when he utters the last sentence.

“But I think I’m a shoe in.”

 

“Are you nervous?”

 

“No, why _would_ I be?”

 

“Just checking.”

 

There was a brief silence until Kurt spoke again.

 

“I’m sure you’ll get in.”

 

For the first time in a long while, Sebastian caught himself smiling. Talking to Kurt again felt like a breath of fresh air.

 

“Thanks Kurt. That _really_ means a lot.” He heaved a deep sigh and went on. “So, how about you? Where are you applying to?”

 

“My heart is torn between Parsons and NYADA.”

 

“Why so? Don’t get me wrong, but I always thought that Parsons was your number one choice.”

 

“Well… Yes, you know I am one for _creating_ new things and sharing my love for fashion to the world, but at the same time… it feels so _right_ to be on stage. It’s so frustrating to have to choose, sometimes I just want to do both y’know?”

 

“Yeah, well… Maybe you can’t see it right now, but I think… that one day, you’re bound to find out which one you love more than the other. The one that just _fits right_. The one where your heart is.”

 

“I’m applying for both. I just _hope_ I’ll get in.”

 

“They’d be stupid if they _don’t_ let you in _._ ”

 

“I don’t know, Seb…”

 

“Have a little more confidence! You’re _Kurt Hummel_ for crying out loud. _The_ Kurt Hummel that’s not going down without a fight.”

 

Kurt gave a tiny laugh in the other line. “You _really_ think so?”

 

“I _know_ so.”

 

“Thanks, Seb. You were always the one to give me ego boosts just when I needed them.”

 

There’s another silence. Just their even breathing and thoughts lingering in their heads.

Then Kurt spoke again. “This is really happening, isn’t it? Our dreams are coming true and we’re growing up.”

 

“Come on, Kurt. Don’t get all sappy with me.” Sebastian said as a means to try and put a little cheer into Kurt’s sad tone, after a while without a reply, Sebastian finally gives in and continues,

“I guess we are.”

 

“Soon enough we’re going places and we’re not going to have time for each other anymore.” Kurt blurts out, his words sounding more fragile by the minute.

 

“That’s not going to _happen_.” Sebastian reassures, but Kurt rambles on.

 

“You say that _now._ But when you’re up to your elbows with exams and I’m tripping to meet deadlines…”

 

“Hold on. Now stop right there.” Sebastian hears Kurt trying to catch his breath and he knew that what he was about to say next, would define their friendship even after high school.

 

“Kurt,”

 

“Yes?” His voice was so tiny. He sounded much terrified and Sebastian wishes that he’ll understand.

 

“I will _always_ have time for you. ”

 

“But.”

 

“Listen, okay?” Sebastian interrupts. “When you need me… just call me. I could care _less_ about some stupid exam. I’ll _make_ time. I’ve been your best friend for as long as I could remember. You should be able to reach me whenever you need me and college will never be a hindrance to that. ”

 

He heard Kurt taking a deep breath in the other line.

“Okay. I… believe you.”

 

Sebastian sighed. He had to say this now before anything else.

 

“There’s one more thing.”

 

“What?”

 

“Before the school year started, I asked my parents… if you… could spend our last summer together in our house… in Paris.”

 

“and?” Kurt’s voice was quivering, not knowing how to take this information.

 

“and they said _yes._ So, I’m asking you… if you’ll come.”

 

Sebastian squeezed his eyes together, trying to anticipate the stabs of rejection.

 

“Seb… I don’t know…”

 

“it’s our last one Kurt. And I know we’ll be in touch but,… we won’t get to spend this much time together ‘til maybe after college… and… ”

 

Sebastian bit his lip. Admitting the inner workings of his mind was painfully hard. It was like peeling himself off layer by layer, showing new complications and vulnerabilities with every layer gone.

 

“and I’m going to miss that.”

 

There was another agonizing silence before Kurt spoke.

 

“I’m going to have to ask dad…”

 

“He’ll say yes.”

 

“and I don’t feel too comfortable with you spending that much on a plane ticket for me…”

 

“My parents said they’ll cover it.” A grin has shown itself on Sebastian’s lips, his grasp on the phone tightening. “Come on Kurt, They know you long enough to give you that. Just think about it. I’ll show you the sights, you always wanted to see the Eiffel Tower up close didn’t you?”

 

“I do, Seb. I do!” Kurt sighs and Sebastian waits.

 

Finally, Kurt speaks. “Paris sounds wonderful.”

  
“So… is that a yes?”

 

“Yes! Okay, you got me!”  Kurt giggles as he found something new to look forward to.

Sebastian thought his heart was going to burst from his chest. “Okay, then.”

 

The cheer in Sebastian’s voice made Kurt smile from ear to ear. But alas, all good things simply have to come to an end.

 

“Seb, it’s 2am, I really need to go, before dad catches me and snatches away my phone privileges.”

 

Sebastian settles down. “Okay. Okay.”

 

“Wait, there’s one thing I’d like to ask you though.”

 

“Sure, what is it?”

 

“How would you like to go to the amusement park this Saturday?”

 

“Sounds fun. But why the sudden need for amusement parks I might ask? ”

 

“Do I have to have an excuse to spend time with my best best friend on a weekend?”

 

A smirk formed on Sebastian’s lips.“ Really Kurt? Because we usually watch movies on weekends instead of going to amusement parks. Now try again.”

 

Kurt rolls his eyes. “Fine, it was Blaine’s idea.”

 

“Blaine’s coming?” Sebastian’s tone quickly changes.

 

“Yes…”

 

“You, me and _Blaine?_ ”

 

Sebastian’s brow furrows, trying hard not to think of Kurt’s suggestion as somewhat absurd.

 

“Yes.. what’s wrong with that?”

 

Sebastian tries not to sound differently. Yet his tone gives him away. “I don’t know, I don’t want to _spoil_ the evening for you two.”

 

“Seb, don’t be such a baby. It’d be just like old times.”

 

“Old times with an excessive amount of  PDA more like it.”

 

“No, we don’t have _excessive amount of PDA_. Plus, why does it even bother you so much?”

“It’s gross.”

 

“SEB, what are you? nine?”

 

“No…”

 

“Oh fine! If it bothers you _that_ much. Blaine and I will tone it down a little. Will you just come?”

 

“Well.. since you practically begged me to…”

 

“You’re impossible!”

 

“Yea, yeah, I’ll be there.” Sebastian finally surrenders. “Good night, Princess.”

 

“Good Night.”

 

 With that, sleep had finally found them.


	11. 182 Degrees

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your lovely comments and patience! I'm terribly sorry for the delay on this one. :) I've put a link in this one, so keep your eyes out for the word that's bold. Enjoy!

Sebastian inhaled the fresh December air that smelled off cotton candy and filled with screams of joy and excitement. The lights of a thousand colors emitting from the rides of the amusement park are brighter.

But Sebastian doesn't bother noticing. He takes the cotton candy handed out by the vendor, put some change on his hand and silently cursed himself for saying 'Yes' to this.

 _What the fuck have I gotten myself into?_  Sebastian thought to himself as he walked passing by children begging their parents for them to stay a little longer.

So far, Kurt and Blaine have gone to all the rides that Sebastian hated with a burning passion. Tunnel of Love was the worst. Although, Sebastian did enjoy the part when they went on Bumper Cars, needless to say, he didn't care how many times he hit Blaine.

 _Ugh, They're so in love. It's so stupid_. Sebastian thinks.

He approached the two just getting off from the rollercoaster ride (which conveniently didn't have room for one more when they got on.).

"I think I need to go to the bathroom." Blaine mumbled as he sprinted away from them as he was covering his mouth.

"Wait, do you want me to go with you?" Kurt called back, but Blaine was already too far to hear him.

"Well, I guess there goes your _magical_  date." Sebastian states with a signature smirk, glad that it was finally over.

Kurt didn't bother responding. It was then that Sebastian knew that Kurt was really upset. He didn't think twice. He grabbed Kurt by the wrist and in one swift move, Sebastian had Kurt trailing behind him, with absolutely no idea where he's taking him.

"Sebastian! What are you doing?!" Kurt exclaimed breathlessly.

Sebastian wasn't stopping. "Come on. I want to show you something."

"But Blaine!"

"He'll be fine. It's only going to take a while, I promise."

Slowly, Kurt could feel himself letting go of all his inhibitions. Sebastian was so excited, Kurt can't help but feel some of his excitement watch over him.

They stop in their tracks and Kurt's mouth hangs open.

"No nononono. I am _not_  getting on that  **thing**." Kurt tries to back away but Sebastian is just behind him.

"Come on, Kurt. There's no line." Sebastian tugs Kurt. "Don't make me carry you."

 

"Sebastian that thing must go up 180 degrees!!" Kurt's eyes widen as the ride rotates some degrees higher.

"182." Sebastian corrects. He takes Kurt's hand and ushers him to the ride before he could protest.

They were seated next to each other. Everything happening so fast. Next thing they knew, the ride was already starting.

"Shit. Shit.Shit." Kurt muttered incessantly, hands gripping the safety handles firmly. "I can't do this, Seb. I can't."

Sebastian howls with laughter. "Too late, Kurt."

With that, they were spinning out of control, the ride taking them higher and higher. For several times, Kurt thought he was going to be flung into the air.

"WE'RE GOING TO DIE. WE'RE GOING TO DIE." He screamed as Sebastian laughed beside him.

"SEBASTIAN THERE'S STILL A LOT OF THINGS I WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE I CAN'T DIE. I HAVEN'T EVEN TOLD MY DAD I LOVED HIM YET." He yelled hysterically as the ride went on faster.

"Kurt! Kurt!" Sebastian was trying to calm him down. Kurt looked at him for a mili-second. Sebastian looked down and offered his hand. Kurt took it without any hesitance.

"I've got you, Don't worry, I got you." Sebastian says. As Kurt nods and closes his eyes, gripping Sebastian's hand tighter until the ride finally comes to stop slowly.

Kurt settles down and once they're at a safe distance from the ride, Kurt punching Sebastian weakly, being too tired punch him harder.

"SEBASTIAN SMYTHE, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE." The other boy was chuckling and defended himself from Kurt's knuckles.

Sebastian wiped the tear from his eye and tried to compose himself.

"That's what you get for forgetting what you promised me before we came here."

Kurt stops, "What are you talking about?"

Sebastian clears his throat and mocks in a higher voice. "We'll tone it down, Sebastian. We don't have  _excessive PDA_." Sebastian's face scrunches up in disgust. "KISS MY ASS, Kurt Hummel!"

"You're impossible!" Kurt screeches as he shoved Sebastian weakly. They paused to look at each other before Sebastian bursts out laughing, Kurt, following right after.

Maybe it was the cold air that made Kurt's cheeks redder than they usually were. Or the fact that it's been a long day, but he just can't take his eyes of Kurt's lips that looked especially plump and sweet tonight.

Thoughts come to him, explicit images of placing his lips on Kurt's. It's too easy, yet so frustratingly complicated at the same time. In that moment, it's just them. The sound of the amusement park, miles away. It's just them standing in close proximity within each other, waiting for something that they're not sure would even come. Sebastian's eyes never finding the will to stop staring at those lucious lips. But then, Kurt looks away and the dream is broken.

"We should get going." Kurt says.

Sebastian gulps and exhales, gone with his breath was any chance of kissing Kurt and thoughts of what could have been.

"Yea... we should." Sebastian gestures to the side and lets Kurt walk first, cursing himself for letting the moment, fade away.

* * *

  
Blaine finds them again, obviously not looking any better than the last time they saw him.

"We should take him home." Kurt suggests.

"Mm..so sorry to ruin the fun for you guys..." Blaine mumbles, his head sprawled over Kurt's shoulder.

Sebastian frowns and starts walking. "Yeah, let's take him home."

* * *

  
The drive home was wrapped in a comfortable silence. Blaine was nuzzled on Kurt's shoulder in the backseat. His curls, being stroke by Kurt's fingers as he slept. Sebastian remembers how the same fingers felt on his hair not too long ago. He tries not to stare at the rearview mirror for too long as he makes a right turn to Blaine's street.

"Thank you." Kurt croaked, his voice was still a little hoarse from screaming earlier.

"For?" Sebastian snatches a peak at the rearview mirror, just catching Kurt looking away at the last minute.

"I really had fun today and I know I spent more time with Blaine than with you but... it wouldn't be the same if you didn't come today."

"Don't mention it and you don't have to apologize for spending more time with Blaine." Sebastian slowly parks the car in front of the Anderson's house. Blaine's parents were out for the night.

"We're here." Sebastian states.

"Could you please help me get him to bed?" Kurt whispered, not wanting to wake Blaine up.

Sebastian takes off his seatbelt and gives Kurt a tired smile. "Sure."

They manage to make it to Blaine's bedroom. Sebastian steps outside when Kurt changes Blaine into something more comfortable.

Kurt goes out to meet Sebastian. He looks away, rubbing his right arm.

"We should get going." Sebastian starts.

Kurt looks at him with a torn expression. "Seb, I'm tired. My whole body hurts and... I want to stay."

A pained expression crosses Sebastian's face but it disappears as soon as it came. He gives Kurt a half smile.

"Okay, that's fine. I'll just drive home, I'll make sure Burt knows where you're staying." He turns to the door but stops abruptly as Kurt grabbed his wrist.

"Wait."

Sebastian turns around, Kurt was staring up at him with conflicted eyes.

"You should stay too." Kurt's grip only tightens as Sebastian considers this.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Kurt."

"Seb, it's late and you're driving alone. I won't be able to sleep when I'm worrying about you."

Sebastian smirks. "You  _worry_  about me?"

Kurt's eyes narrows. "Seb, don't make this any more difficult."

Sebastian shrugs innocently. "I was just wondering... you've spent the whole day with Blaine and then you suddenly feel the need to worry about me."

"Seb, I'm really tired and I'm going to need a really good back massage tomorrow. Just stay tonight, please? For me?"

Sebastian smiles and nods. They both head to the couch. Kurt, slumping as soon as he was close enough. Sebastian following after.

"Why do you have to wait tomorrow?" Sebastian says as he places both of his hands on Kurt's back. His fingers, moving in small circles and then tracing patterns on Kurt's spine.

"Right there." Kurt moans. Sebastian smiles to himself, glad that Kurt was pleased.

He moves in just a little closer until he could get a whiff of Kurt's scent. A familiar aroma of his shampoo.

"Oh, God. Seb. Where did you... Fuck. Yeah, there. " Sebastian pushes his fingers on Kurt's back harder, this time to ease the tension built up between Kurt's muscles.

"My mom taught me." He moves his fingers on the sides of Kurt's neck and gently makes small circles.

"That feels so good. Don't stop." Sebastian chuckles as he does the same routine over and over.

Time passes by. Sebastian's eyelids seem to be heavier than they were and yawns kept escaping from his lips. It was then that he finally gives in and collapses on top of Kurt. The other protesting weakly.

"Move over." Sebastian demands.

"I'm going to fall if-"

Kurt was suddenly slipping and it only took a second for him to cling on Sebastian's body, suddenly snapping him awake.

"What the fuck, Kurt."

Kurt had Sebastian's shirt all crumpled up.

"God, I hate you." Kurt mumbles lazily before chuckling into Sebastian's chest.

"Let's just sleep." Kurt releases Sebastian's shirt. To Sebastian's dismay, Kurt turns around from him.

"Good night, Seb."

"Night, Kurt."

Sebastian catches himself looking at Kurt. He wants to stroke his hair.Or bury his face on Kurt's back. He wants to put his arms over Kurt's waist and hold him until the morning. He wants to touch him, but he doesn't, because... it's _Kurt._

He doesn't because he's _not_  Kurt's boyfriend.

He waits for Kurt to fall asleep before he gets up, trying to move Kurt as little as possible.

Sebastian heads over the kitchen to get a glass of water to clear his mind, when suddenly he finds himself colliding with a figure.

He jolts wide awake to see Blaine rubbing his right eye. "Sebastian? Why are you here?"

"Kurt decided to stay and he didn't want me to go back by myself. I could go if it makes you..."

"No... don't be silly. Stay." They both sit down . An awkward silence resumes and Blaine tries to fill it.

"So.. why are you still up?"

"Can't sleep."

"How's Kurt?"

"Sleeping like a baby."

With that, Blaine merely smiles.

"He's... happy." Sebastian inserts.

Blaine looks at him and his smile grows wider. "He is."

Sebastian looks down.  
" _You_  make him happy."

"Sebastian... I..."

"I mean it."

Blaine stares at him with those puppy dog eyes and he knows that Sebastian does mean it.

"That... That really means a lot, Sebastian."

So this was it. This is the moment where Sebastian would finally let go of his best friend. He would let Kurt be with Blaine, because Blaine makes Kurt happy.

And he  _wants_  Kurt to be happy. He wants to let him go.

Except... he  _doesn't_.

Yet he puts on a smile and pats Blaine's back and tells him to sleep well.

As he sits down on the comfortable chair across from the couch...

as he watches his best friend sleep, until the sun finally shows itself...

is when Sebastian realizes...  
that he is completely and utterly  _screwed_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your reviews are always welcome xo.


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